Dilwale: Most pathetic movie I watched this year

The readers already know what I am going to write about and most probably most of them will hate me for criticising SRK. Let them, as if I care about a bunch of emotions driven figuratively blind people.

I have already given the gist in the title. I’ll provide the details here as to why I think the movie is pathetic. I stopped watching SRK movies in theatres after Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham. Frankly, they should have named it thodi khushi baki rona(little happiness, rest weeping). I knew I could spend that money at a better place, maybe a bar.

Whatever, now with the details. The movie starts with a scene where SRK is shooting and is then shot. We will later see how stupid he was to get shot. By the way, the beginning is totally misleading. There isn’t much action in the whole movie and mostly you will witness cheap jokes. The shooting scene was apparently a nightmare and SRK suddenly wakes up. Next thing we see is a huge pastel coloured house with a lot of modified cars in front of it. Apparently, SRK is a car mechanic cum modifier and a saint along with that. Varun Dhawan plays the role of his younger brother and fills the space of the family clown. From the second scene itself the movie reeked of callous direction and half hearted screenplay. Then it kind of increased in volume and reached a stable point far below the tolerance level. The main cast was fairly small and full of cliches. There was a generic Hindu friend and to maintain the balance there was a Muslim friend with all the flags up to identify his religion. I am not an atheist but I really don’t like anyone’s religious feelings splashed across the screen, be it any religion. Everyone is free to practice his own faith but no need to advertise it everywhere.

I should not give out any spoilers and I have nothing to give out either. There’s no suspense at all. It’s an old storyline coated with new wrapper and the wrapping is done haphazardly. Everyone knows the crew was shooting in Europe. The country was Bulgaria and it was for a part which was supposed to show part of SRK’s life 15 years back when he was part of a mafia family. Unfortunately, except the line on screen which said 15 years back nothing else showed it was 15 years back. A man’s face shows age in 5 years but not kajol or srk. Apparently, they are immortal. Somehow, in 2000 srk procured cars that were released in 2008 or later. Even tv series pay more attention to detail.

Whatever, as expected srk and kajol have a tiff back then and later both their younger siblings fall in love with each other. Yes, they could not find anyone else in the whole world. Guess how their affair started. Varun dhawan behaved like a creep from the beginning and the girl had absolutely no problem with that. Why? Because pyar to hona hi tha. I can’t even imagine myself behaving like that with a girl and even if I do I will surely land up in jail for sexual harassment. But bollywood is on a different planet. Sexually harassing a girl here leads to a love affair and finally marriage in a church even if the whole family is Hindu.

Then there is Boman Irani, playing the role of a comical drug dealer with a bunch of thugs who get beaten up everytime they try to sell drugs. I have no idea how the leader made so much money with such useless chaps.

So, back to the love affair of Varun and the girl. I didn’t care to learn her name since she was as useless as the extras used in the movie. After varun is successful in wooing the girl, he finds out she has an older sister, Kajol who dumped his older brother i.e. srk and the viewers get to know that she actually  shot him. So, Varun set out for a mission to reunite them so that he could marry his girl and the movie stretched on painfully for another hour or so.

This is can on and on but I won’t drag it like the movie did for two and a half hours. At the end I can only say that this movie took the purported audience totally for granted and so did the director and the actors. Everyone’s acting was unidimensional and uninteresting. There was no attention paid to details and only retards would say this movie was good.

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